I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
