The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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