i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
