Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
