Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Randomize
