He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
