Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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