Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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