So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
