We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize
