margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
