It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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