Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
