and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize