Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
