somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
