I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
