We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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