He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
no you cant smoke seaweed
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
