My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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