i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
