Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
