All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
