real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
