What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
