There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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