I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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