we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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