i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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