Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize