eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
