This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
