Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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