when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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