I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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