our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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