OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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