I didn't shave. On purpose
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
