Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We got so high we made milksteak
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
