My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
God, I missed his penis.
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