This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
