i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
