they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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