Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize