I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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