he shaved USA in his pubs
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
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