I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
