come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize