I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
it was like eating out sand paper
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
