1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
