South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
