I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
