thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
