Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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