I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize