This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Randomize
