The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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