But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
