I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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