i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
