i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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