sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
