who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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