tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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