you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
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